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FROM THE MAILBAG* REAL RESPONSES… FROM REAL PEOPLE…. MAKING REAL & LIFE CHANGING CHOICES! __________ Thank you, For everything, For hope, For a choice, I AM NOT ANONYMOUS, I HAVE A VOICE, AND IT IS MINE AND MINE ALONE….. R.W. __________ alcoholism drug abuse recovery alternativesThe Ebook – A Practical Guide To Quit Addiction!

wow..think i found it..read in full..but yet to do the exercises….i’ve been in and out of AA for 3 yrs..longest stint of sobriety was 1-1/2 years..what you say makes alot of sense .and gently overlaps with AA..which made alot of sense at times..tomorrow is a new day..i CHOOSE not to drink…get out of my head and do something for somebody else…thanks! well worth the 25 bucks! 🙂 its the first 24 hrs i’m in FEAR of….any ideas ..lemme know thanks again GP __________________________________ Dear Mr. Welch, I wanted to write to you to thank you for saving my brothers life. We came from a large family and from a very early age learned that any occasion called for a drink. As a result, everyone but my oldest brother abused alcohol. My brother J. was the worst of us all. This past year I was sure that he was going to die. My heart wanted to pick him up and wrap him in a cocoon until he was alright but my intellect knew that the choice was his. He had struggled with AA for 40 years off and on and just wasn’t comfortable with the program. I too found AA to be uncomfortable and almost cult like. I found a wonderful group for myself. It was called Women for Sobriety. Where AA tells you, you are powerless over alcohol this groups step was I have a life threatening disease that once had me. In an attempt to open his eyes to an alternative, after his first time in a rehab, I searched the web for alternative programs to AA. I had to scroll down but was drawn to your words. I forwarded the webpage to L. and the miracle began there. You are one of the Angels on earth and I wanted to acknowledge your presence and let you know how grateful I am to you. Drinking is a choice and your words made so much sense to L. Thank you Mr. Welch. God Bless You __________________________________ Timothy, I am writing to tell you thank you for the info you have provided in Frontiers! The Limits Depend On You! I am a recovery meth addict and have been clean for 10 months. I did not go to rehab, I did not go to AA or NA, I quit only because I made the choice to quit. I have surfed the internet for information on recovery and every where I go they tell me I can’t quit on my own, that I am going to need treatment or therapy. They tell me I have a disease. Until I found your book, I was starting to believe them. I understand everything you are saying and I couldn’t have found it at a better time. You have helped me so much and I am only on page 29. I just wanted to thank you and find out if you have more books available? E-mail me back and let me know. Also I am interested in helping other addicts. If you have any suggestions let me know that also. Thanks Again, M.K. __________________________________ Sir, I have read a lot of your online addiction help. this is a great program! it expresses a lot of my feelings. for instance, I am in a n.a. group because I had a drug problem, I made a statement that a lot of people disagreed with. i said i felt relapse is a frame of mind and to change your lifestyle in within ones self and although maybe n.a. might help keep some people in the right frame of mind, I believe the will lies within ones-self regardless of old people, places, and things. Thank you for the online program. __________________________________ Hi Tim, I just got done reading the addiction alternative wow pretty powerful and all so true. Nothing will set you free like the truth, I know this but like you said it’s all about choice nothing more nothing less. I am in the “stuck mode” myself and there isn’t one thing about addiction that is fun hasn’t been for a long long time. I am so busy trying to cover up my using mostly from family afraid to death that they will find out that I have made the “choice” to dabble again after having some time under my belt. The fear of them just finding out, (my husband knows, he’s in prison, trying to help me of course) it’s about my folks and kids finding out mostly because in my head, you know that thing that we really shouldn’t give into I am convinced that they will write me off for good. Needless to say I think I have done enough to them to last a lifetime, I just can’t bare the thought of hurting them one more time so I act as if they already know and have written me off so I use more when in fact all I have to do is make that choice to say I’m done!!! What I have a problem with is finishing a sack till its gone completely then I’ll quit, I’m done after this which really are my intentions. I know the down time is coming and as much as I am going to hate life in the next 3-4 days I aint doing it till it’s gone completely. typical addict here I could go on forever about this to someone who really understands the claws of addiction. This may sound bizzare but a lot of what you had to say in your article I’ve really already known in my heart but was afraid to speak up in fear of people telling me I’m just coming up with another excuse which I don’t believe I was or am. Like you said what works for one person won’t necessarily work for another, I truly believe that. Just like the NA program didn’t work for me, everyone seems to have the answer for me, go back to meetings blah blah blah, for me it’s like going against the grain for me anyway. Not to say I didn’t get some good stuff out of it because I did but as with anyplace else that too was an inperfect world. I felt people weren’t really being sincere. Ok Tim I have babbled long enough, I apologize. Just wanted to say thank you for reminding me that the choice is all mine. Hope is in the air, I feel it!! Take care, T. _____________________________________ I checked out recoverforever.com . I like your approach for my husband. It is what I have been saying all along and knew in my heart. It is his choice, but it is not a simple one. I will be reading your e-book in depth and sharing it with him. He is interested in learning more about what is going on is his thought process that compels him to make the choice he does with drinking. Are there any responsible counselors like yourself who adopt this approach in ……….? Also, I have severe anxiety disorder (have had a long time) and am interested in reading the friends and family section. I hope it calms me down and opens me up to new perspectives because the drinking does contribute somewhat to my anxiety, as you can imagine. _____________________________________ Timothy, Thank you!!! I started using again after 5 years. I went through traditional long term treatment and went to aa meetings for about the 1st 3 months of that 5 years. I do believe I was able to quit because I really wanted to change not because what they told me. I started using again because I made that choice!! Not because of some disease!!! I have never been in denial about my drug problem I just did not want to quit. I tried to tell my councler this and she just had me do more work on denial. I went to get on methadone 3 weeks ago and walked out, I decided I did not want to go backwards (i was on methadone for 8 years before entering a treatment facility in ’97). I am currently detoxing myself since no doctor will help me unless I go into rehab. I do not have that luxury I still need to work and help my husband with the bills and get my daughter to school etc. I was taking 15 10mg loratab a day I am down to 7 1/2 a day. I feel sick each time I cut back (about 1 pill a week) Next Monday I will take 6 1/2 everyday for a week and so on. If you have any suggestions I would greatly appreciate any suggestions. I am currently working in the on line work book. Thanks for all your help and caring. _______________________________________ I was looking online for help and came across your site which caught my eye. I am looking for an alternative to AA. I don’t wish to go there for reasons the e-book mentionned. Your e-book is inspiring me right now. I am printing it and hope that this will finally help me put an end to this miserable problem. My husband has been sober & Clean for 13 years, and I don’t know how much longer he will take it. One phrase particularly hit me, right there in the beginning, page two. It’s what got me to want to look into it. it’s about trying to maintain control in your life. Alcohol helps me feel in control. It has gotten worse since 2 years. I feel like such a loser. I am so greatful for this e-book. I know I do have it in me to change. And I am glad to know that this information will help. Thank you so much __________________________________________ Hi Tim, Wow, I spent great part of the day reading…and thinking…and totally agreeing with you. It’s like you were in my mind, kicking out all these thoughts about helplessness and uncontrolable disease.. So today I kept myself busy and not wanting to drink so I’ll probably be happy in the morning and looking forward to writing down my dreams about living without fear. You are so insightful and I am very, very grateful, thank you so much, I will let you know how things go the next days. ___________________________________ Hi, There are so few of you who are involved with assisting people with addictions but who aren’t held captive by the 12 step crowd. Absolutely astonishing is how the myths of addiction as “disease”, powerlessness, being an addict forever, and others are just accepted wholesale by the majority of the recovery industry. I found your website way back last November but was seeing this counselor who was a “12 steps or nothing” kind of guy. I never swallowed the 12 step nonsense. In fact, I found that there is a segment of Christendom who have not been taken in by 12 step thinking and present Biblical evidence contrary to the false principles of 12 stepping. I don’t understand why so many therapists support a program (12 steps) with its various teachings which in effect beat a person down and do not promote any concept of being worthwhile as a person. The only way a person gains value is by remaining firmly entrenched in the group and working steps forever. Even in this way of maintaining sobriety, the emphasis is all on self. That is one of the items which caught my eye, one of the five steps is to be selfless rather than selfish. I read William Playfair’s book “The Useful Lie” which also debunks the concept of addiction as disease. I, personally, think that modern man is no different than his ancestors when it comes to looking for ways of blame shifting and that is what the disease model allows. It lets people off the hook. They can shirk personal responsibility and just say that the disease was making them do it. I noticed that there were no initials behind your name. Do you do this purposefully? I’m guessing you have done some serious studies or you could not have written the long article of “The Forgotten Five Steps” I read the .pdf Just wish your reasoned out approach could be seen by more folks. I have directed others to your website at the forums. Best wishes, M. _________________________________________ BEEN MARRIED 8 OF THESE YEARS, AND DATED HER FOR 12 YEARS BEFORE THAT. WELL, MAYBE SHE THOUGHT AFTER MARRIAGE, I WOULD CHANGE, BUT I DID NOT. MY DRINKING GOT HEAVIER TO WHERE I WOULD DRINK BEER EVERYDAY. PROBLEMS STARTED WHEN WE DRANK TOGETHER. WE WOULD FIGHT, AND MAKE UP. THOUGH IT TOOK LONGER AND LONGER EACH TIME. FINALLY SINCE OUR DAUGHTER WAS BORN, WE DRIFTED APART, AND LIVED LIKE ROOMMATES. THIS, FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS! I GOT DRUNK EVERYDAY TO FORGET ABOUT OUR PROBLEMS, MY WIFE STARTED HEAVY GAMBLING, AND GOING TO BARS EVERY WEEKEND WITH FRIENDS. I KNEW DRINKING WAS TAKING ITS TOLE, BUT COULD NOT FACE THE PROBLEM ( THIS HAS BEEN THE “WAY” EVERY TIME I TRIED TO QUIT.) I’VE BEEN THROUGH THIS 4 TIMES, WITH DIFFERENT COUNSELING, AND NOTHING SEEMED TO WORK LONG ENOUGH. LAST WEEK , MY WIFE TOLD ME SHE WANTED A DIVORCE. AND, THAT SHE HAD BEEN SEEING SOMEBODY ELSE FOR 2 MONTHS. I WAS STUNNED ABOUT THE DIVORCE, BUT COULD UNDERSTAND WHY SHE WAS SEEING SOMEONE ELSE. AT THIS POINT, MY HEART WAS RIPPED OUT OF MY SOUL. I TOLD HER I NEEDED TO GET HELP, AND GET BETTER BEFORE SHE HAD TO FACE THE DILEMMA. WE AGREED TO TAKE THE FIRST STEP AND GET A COUNSELOR, SEPARATELY TO SEE WHAT TO DO. I KNEW WHAT I WANTED IMMEDIATELY- TO KEEP MY FAMILY. SO TODAY, A WEEK LATER, I HAVE BEEN SOBER AND STARTED READING YOUR BOOK. I ONLY GOT TO PAGE 17, BUT HAVE BEEN TOTALLY INSPIRED ALREADY. I SPENT 4 HOURS ON THESE PAGES, AND I THINK THIS TOOL WILL BE THE THING TO HEAL MY WOUNDED SOUL , AND BRING ME BACK TO EARTH. I PLAN ON GETTING COUNSELING (MENTAL HEALTH AND HOPEFULLY MARRIAGE,) BUT MY WIFE IS STRUGGLING. SHE THOUGHT IT WAS OVER, AND THEREFORE WANTS TO STILL SEE THE OTHER MAN. TONIGHT I CONVINCED HER TO TAKE THE FIRST STEP TO HEAL HERSELF, TO PICK UP THE PHONE. IM HOPING BY LEARNING MORE ABOUT HERSELF, WE CAN BEGIN A NEW LIFE TOGETHER. I AM COMMITTED TO GETTING SOBER, FOR MYSELF! NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. I THANK YOU FOR THIS BOOK, IT HAS ALREADY CHANGED THE WAY, I LOOK AT THINGS. FOR THE FIRST TIME I FEEL I WILL BE A SOBER PERSON– FOREVER. I AM NOT GOING TO KID MYSELF. THE HONESTY IS IN MY HEART THIS TIME. I FEEL IT. THANK YOU SO MUCH. _____________________________________ I came across your site seeking a solution for my sister, who has tried AA and found it to be unhelpful. I also went to AA seeking solutions to my problems with alcohol and found that it did not help me, either. I was able to control my “alcoholism” doing basically this: Am I going to drink this or am I not? Everytime that I said “no” I kind of congratulated myself because I had always been taught the “disease theory” of it. I found that to be untrue, but I did not know that there was any HELP out there beyond AA. I found AA to be filled with despair because of the fact that if a person makes a mistake, then they are sent back to zero! I think it’s appalling to tell a person who has done so much work that it’s all worthless! No wonder the success rate is so low! No wonder people feel powerless, when success is denied. I look forward to getting your e-book and working with my sister to help her achieve what I have, and I will definitely be suggesting your site and information to ANYONE seeking a solution to this problem for themselves! ____________________________________ Thank you so much. I really believe your steps will truely help me if I can just stay focused. Thank you so much for your help and your prayers. _____________________________________ Timothy: I don’t think there is any doubt about my alcoholism, since I have spent the last seven years between attending AA and drinking eposodically as well as 3 jail sentences. I want to thank you for your “five step” approach. I believe you make more sense than what I’ve been experiencing for nearly thirty years. Am I free to give the internet sites to others and to invite them to my home to discuss these principles as well as to apply them to our daily lives. Sincerely, T.K. _________________________________ Hi Tim, I recently discovered your website and am so glad I do. Very helpful information and something I so agree with. I am an addict and so desperately want to break this habit. Im wondering if you have any suggestions or tips of things to do to overcome the physical cravings. When a craving comes on for me, I seem to get this feeling of just grinding my teeth and my body screaming for something. Almost like when you are really thirsty and just “have to have something to drink”. I know what will make it go away but I want to choose the healthy alternatives and not use. When these physical cravings come on I dont know what to do to make that horrible feeling go away. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time and the wonderful work you do. Sincerely, J. ___________________________ Many thanks for taking the time to reply Timothy I greatly appreciate you answering my enquiry. So far it is working well and I must say your approach is something that should be used in practice because it is so sensible and empowering. I work in and alcohol and drug centre in Australia and they use the same old same old approach and hence why no one I have seen come in here gets off the substances. Any way I will keep you informed on how I go but so far I am doing brilliantly well. Thanks so much again for taking the time. T.L. ________________________________ Hi Tim, I was searching the web looking for possibilities for treatment for my nephew and found your site., it all makes much sense and I have mailed the info to my sister and nephew. I did download the book you have on the site, my question is this., can I use this material with clients I am working with? I work at a Center for ……….., ……………… and almost all of them are working a program for drug or alcohol addiction. I Firmly believe that the programs don’t work and the work I am doing works to digest the primary wounds that set a person up to make choices like they have made., AND I also think that the information you have in your handbook would be powerful also to bring to the table, Thank you for putting this out there, it is so very helpful… ________________________________ Hi Tim. I just visited your site and was glad to read what I did. I too beleive that alcoholism and such is not a disease. I would love to have your book and or go to chat rooms if you have one. Unfortunately at this moment I cannot even spend the mere $ you ask for. but I do want to save this address in my puter for future reference. I’m new at the computer so could you please just email me back and then it will be in my address book? I visit the chat rooms on addiction aften and have been in al-anon for over 8 yrs now. It’s funny you should mention about self help being an addiction. It does seem to be and seems to be holding me up from getting totally involved with life outside that. I’m ‘sick of myself’ sort to speak. sick of always focusing on myself. It does get in my way. Thank you for this add. (I’ve never said this before) 🙂 and thanks, for trying to help others. It only takes one to change the world. Keep up the good work! TC, DN _________________________________ Tim, I would like to thank you for the message brought in your e-book on stopping addiction. In my case, my addiction has been alcohol and I believe I now have this addiction beat – although this is day 1 from reading the e-book, it makes absolute sense. I now see that it has been fear – fear of facing life without the alcohol – that has kept me from quitting the bottle. I’ve wondered for a long time now why I would continue this irrational, destructive behavior when now it is clear – the fear of facing life without it has been so strong that it has trumped the pain that the addiction causes me. As I have conquered fears in many other areas of life and experienced the joy of doing this – so I now know it can be done with this addiction that has already taken so much of me. I am now filled with sincere hope and enthusiasm for the future. Once again – thank you – and I will periodically keep you posted. SS __________________________________ Tim, I don’t know how to thank you. I am working through the booklet myself. I agree with everything I’ve read so far. ZJK __________________________________ Dear Sir, I read with very much interest your ideas and thoughts…I feel that you are very right in your thinking. A few years ago, I used drugs frequently, but I did more and less, as things changed in my life, until today I don’t use at all. Yet, my husband has become a heavy user of drugs and alcohol. He seems to do more or less at times, but never stops. He tells me of his struggle to not use. Everything I am told, is that I am co-dependent because of “know” of his use, he tells me. Not to say that he hasn’t run off several times for days at a time. What I don’t understand is, how come he goes off the deep end, and I didn’t? And aren’t I helping him be a user, by picking up the pieces, paying bills, etc…I will admit, that sometimes, I think he has split personality disorder, since he came seem to change like the flip of a switch. If this is not a disease, are you saying he can control it, if he WANTED too? Any thoughts would be very much appreciated. Thank you– K ____________________________________ Tim, My sister relapsed yesterday after having 2 sober months and a month of rehab. My other sister sent me a link to your website and I have read your writing and think it is wonderful and I just wanted to tell you that I hope my brother gets completely sober and reads this. I know it will help. I hope you have your life in order. Thanks for writing this. You should publish it. ____________________________________ Mr. Welch, thank you very much for forwarding me the information on this new approach to my life. I have just skimmed it briefly and I look forward to getting into the material. I am tired of being told that I am sick. I am not sick- I have recovered but when I say that to friends in the recovery community the first thing is “Oh No, you are headed for a relapse.” I am hoping to change my view through using your material. I feel the life changes I have made so far give me power. I no longer feel comfortable with the “sick forever” attitude I so often come across in AA. Thanks again for your kindness. UW __________________________________ Hi My name is GA. I’ve done the treatment centers, counseling, DUI (once)and endless meetings. I don’t think I’m powerless over my addiction so I left AA. I stayed sober for a good while but couldn’t acheive a level of happiness with that sobriety so I drank again. I want to quit again but I hate detoxing. It’s a necessary thing, I know, and I’ll do it at home. My husband can’t miss one day of work because our budget is so stressed and streched its difficult. I’d like your book but there is no way I have the money to buy it. I’m not buying any wine today because I can’t afford it. So detox begins today. I’m sorry I’m rambling. The bottom line is this: would you send me a free copy of your book? It sounds like their is hope in there. I like your forum.I am committed to getting sober again not just because I can’t afford the alcohol anymore but more importantly for health reasons. I am diabetic with IBS, high blood pressure and some neuropathy. Drinking is not helping me, not even the low alcohol stuff I buy. So, please, if you can, I’d appreciate it. GA _________________________________ Thanks so much for sending this to me! I’ve only had a brief opportunity to look it over, but it seems to answer a lot of questions for me. I’m looking forward to reviewing it in depth and maybe finding a real solution to getting my life back on track. L.E Bar Association ________________________________ I really appreciate what ive read so far on the net. and I do honestly believe there are people in this world who really give up the drugs and alcahol. but I don’t understand when you lose your children over this sitsuation that alone seems like it would be enough to make a person want to stop?ive been dealing with this now for many years and I don’t do drugs although I was raised around them in parts of my life,and have even been told it wont hurt me.and of course at that time I believed it.I was told this by somebody who I love dearly.but I knew inside of myself when I stopped which was so very many years ago(before I had children) I didn’t want that in my life there were to many other things I looked at and said my money will never go on that stuff,cause I could have so many other things in life. sometimes I cry because im not a drug user or even around them but it always seems like im fighting a war against them just to keep the people I love and see going down hill something they cant see of course or maybe they can and don’t care?I don’t know. when I cry by myself I often think and say, why cant us as humans take all the drugs and blow them up?that way nobody can use them.I think ive heard every excuse there could possibly be and I really mean that. you know its so very sad and I often tell people so many different things,thinking maybe I will get to them this time?sometimes I feel like just giving up on trying to help. but something in me restores my energy and im back at it again.I feel like im the one who is on drugs just because sometimes it makes me crazy trying to figure out a new tactic,knowing all it does is makes me cry more and get stressed more,ive seen people come clean for a couple years than go back to it. I don’t understand why?after climbing such a big hill and getting over the top.I know people hurt,I know there are things in life we sometimes just cant or don’t want to deal with,but reality is reality.im not perfect and niether is anybody else.I fear for people on drugs,and I cant seem to say the right things to make it matter enough to them.I would love to buy your book,but im on ssi-disability and I don’t get much. but I think it makes me feel better to talk to somebody who may understand?ive had so many people pretend they are right with me on this, only to find out they use it to sometimes. not all the time. but periodically.but to me you either use drugs or you don’t. sometimes people on drugs are running from things I don’t think they even know.thank you. I hope you succeed in all the help you have to offer. _______________________________ Tim, Thank you so much for sending me your book via e-mail – I couldn’t quit reading it! I am going to send it to my son (and also my ex-husband who also has a drinking problem). It really helped me – especially the part on codependency. I also like the way you empower the person (they have a choice not to drink). I will pass your website on to friends whom I have met dealing with similar problems. Please let me know your mailing address and I will send you check for $25. Thanks again Tim … I’ll keep checking in on your discussion board. JD _________________________________________ Tim, I saw your book online and I’m very interested. My spouse has been struggling with his problem for a while now and I’m really frustrated because he obviously doesn’t believe in the meetings and association. I was suspect about those Organizations; AA, NA and I even went to Nar-Anon and Al-Anon. I pretty much tried everything. Unfortunately at this time I am unable to afford the e-book. I was hoping you could send me the attachment as I am feeling for the first time in 4 1/2 years that you are on to something good. If you are unable to send an ebook attachment, just know that what I’ve read I kind of suspected all along. Once an addict always an addict was a sentence worse than life in prison. You’ve given me a better outlook on my spouse and others I’ve seen in my lifetime with problems with alcohol and drugs. Sincerely, C. ________________________________________ Thank you ever so much for such an in your face web page, I have been trying on my own to stop taking the drugs I’ve been taking for four days now and it just hit me yesterday morning that i am in fact an “ADDICT” just like the people on the streets but because mine came from a Doctor mine weren’t drugs but “Medicine” This will (I hope) get me through the day ahead of me, once again i say “THANKS” ____________________________________________ I have been reading about the A.A. Alternative, and do not have the money to buy the book: The Forgotten Five Steps. You wrote: “If you don’t have the money just email me and I’ll send the attachment or link” Therefore I am emailing you to request the link, please. Thank You! L. F. _________________________________________ Thank you so much. This is what my wife has been saying all along. I am printing some of your pages and I will write you back and let you know how I am doing. Thank you, S. _______________________________________ Dear Mr. Welch, Thank you for your insightful, inspirational, and hope invoking book. Having read it in it’s entirety, and parts of it several times, I’ve found it to be brutally truthful as well as helpful. The section on “fear” was especially real to me. I have suffered from social anxiety for years, and am now trying to confront the world, as well as myself, without the veil of alcohol. I was wondering if you have written any other books, and or know of any along the same lines as of your own, that you would endorse. Self improvement anti-addiction type books that may help fuel the fire for making you a better (sober) person. I would appreciate your recommendations. Stay well. T.

* Due to confidentiality, names and certain specifics (location, identifying features, etc.) have been changed. The words and messages have been kept as received. The purpose of listing these emails is to encourage and challenge those who struggle with an addiction to seek assistance and let them know there is alternatives to current addiction treatment thinking. If you do not have the money to purchase the book or CD’s, email me and I will send the ebook to you free. And as always, you are always free to contact me and I will help as I can. alcoholism drug abuse recovery alternativesThe Ebook – A Practical Guide To Quit Addiction! Timothy Welch

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